I'm Just Here Till I Find Better
by JimberlyShipper
Summary: This is my headcanon for what was going on with Pucktana in the background of season two. I love their friendship, it's so cute.


_**Disclaimer: So, this is something that just came to me when I was playing glee Karaoke volume 3. Plus, I need distractions from the horrific Klaine breakup. The characters of glee are not mine. I was wondering how Puck and Santana just ended up having sex again in season two. This is what I think was going on with them. Also, I really love Pucktana bromance. XD. **_

I'm Just Here Till I Find Better

By Julia

Puck's room always smelled the same. Santana didn't like it, even if she needed him. She didn't know _exactly _what the smell was, but it was a mixture of weed, dirty clothes, and something else. She would figure out what it was eventually. Lately Puck hadn't been calling her as often. He was spending a lot of time moping about Quinn Fabray. Santana didn't know what his problem was. She thought he needed to get a grip. Santana needed to get a grip. Santana needed him to be her beard. If he didn't shape up it was going to be a little hard. Santana was in love with her best friend Brittany Pierce. She couldn't let anyone know. It was of utmost importance that Puck go along with the plan. She pulled up in front of his house and killed her car's lights. She was going to come to the bottom of this. She didn't expect to presume that Puck would stop wanting Quinn, but he could at least get with the program. Santana turned off her car and headed up the walk. She ran the bell and waited impatiently.

The bell sounded, and Puck was wondering who it was. He wasn't expecting anyone. He grabbed a shirt and pulled it on. He didn't really want to see who was at the door, but he didn't want to pretend he wasn't home. His truck was out there, anyway. There was no way he was going to get away with pretending he wasn't home. Puck opened the door. It was Santana Lopez. He wasn't surprised. All she wanted was sex. It was all she ever wanted lately. Puck wasn't sure that he wanted to give in to it right now. Puck had spent a very long summer with Santana. It had not been all bad. They had had lots of sex. Puck would never turn down sex. Well, sometimes he felt the need. Like today. Puck definitely was not in the mood today. All he could think about was Quinn Fabray. He knew that Lopez was going to hate that. Puck was just tired of being called _Brittany_. It was really annoying. "You can come in, but I'm not sleeping with you." She was just going to have to deal with it. Whether she wanted to or not.

Rolling her eyes, she stepped in so he could close the door. She wasn't happy with that answer. He had to give in. Santana folded her arms as she turned to look at him. "I want to have sex, Puckerman." Santana told him, arching her eyebrow. She had been thinking too much about her best friend and she had to get it out of her system. She had no one else to go to and Puck knew that. "You can call me Quinn if you want." She told him. Normally, she didn't let him do that, so he had to know how important it was. She never wanted to acknowledge his feelings for her frenemy. She didn't want to admit that he thought about other girls.

That gave him pause. Puck knew he should take that into account. He never was allowed to talk about Quinn around Santana. He arched his eyebrow at her. "What's the catch?" He asked. Nothing with her was ever easy or catch free. He cared about her though, and always would. She was a good person, no matter what anyone else said. He ran his hand through his shaved hair. He was going to stand his ground, no matter what. That was the best way to deal with her. Conviction. Puck didn't know how else hje was going to get her to see that there was more he could offer besides sex. It was very important to him.

Santana started for the couch, knowing Puck would follow. He did not disappoint. She sat down, crossing her long legs. "Look, Puckerman. There isn't a catch, okay? I'm serious. I just…. I need you. It's been hard lately." She told him, letting a couple of tears drift off her chin. She never cried in front of anyone. That should prove her point. She looked out the window, long black hair falling over her shoulder. She didn't look at him, that would ruin the effect. He sat down with her on the couch. Santana knew she had to keep him. There was no way she could risk anyone finding out her secret. There was so much to lose. She couldn't afford for anyone to know. Only Puck, and he hadn't ratted her out yet. She was glad she could trust him. There weren't many people. He always defended her, too, hard, which still shocked her.

Hell, he hated when she got like that. She was definitely putting on a show for him. She wasn't lying about any of it, far from it, but she was definitely exaggerating. Puck forced himself not to roll his eyes. He knew that wouldn't help. "Santana, I wasn't born yesterday. You know I care about you. I always have. I just, I can't sleep with you today. I know you're hurting. I know that. I just, I am too." They didn't do this often, talk about actual feelings. It just wasn't what they were all about. Puck knew if he couldn't talk to her, he couldn't talk to anyone. He just wasn't sure he wanted to right now. He just couldn't handle any of it. Especially if it was all out in the open like that. Puck closed his eyes, hoping that that was going to be all they talked about right now. He honestly didn't want to have to handle more.

That made her look at him, her eyes widening a little. That….surprised her. They were never this frank with each other. Her hands gathered on her lap. She looked at him. "Puck, this is how we cope. We have sex….. I don't want to do this alone. I need you. I won't call you Brittany this time." That would get him to agree. She absolutely did not want to have to have a big talk with him. She wanted to have sex with him. It was what she needed. She needed the release. It was all she could handle. Anything else was too much. It was for him, too, and she knew it. She didn't know how they could be so serious with each other. She wasn't ready for it. It was too much. "Please. I can't do any of this." She said, shaking her head.

Puck sighed, and leaned back against the couch. He turned his brown eyes on her. "Santana, I told you. I'm not sleeping with you. I know that's not what you want to hear." Puck told her. He ran his hand over his shaved head. He was working on growing his mohawk back out. He had gotten it shaved off when he was in juvie. Puck was never going back. He would do whatever he had to to keep from going. "Santana, there has to be more to our relationship than just sex." He knew that she didn't want that. Puck just didn't want to be good for just sex. It was very disappointing.

"God, Puckerman! Now is not the time for you to be growing a fucking conscience!" Santana cried, running her hands through her long black hair. She rolled her eyes. She didn't know what would convince him to do it her way. She knew that it was all moot anyway, she could tell by the look in his eyes he wasn't going to give in. She knew when he was being serious and when he wasn't. This was all happening so very wrong. She just couldn't figure out how to get what she wanted. "Puck, what is wrong with you? Why aren't you giving me what I want?" She asked. She didn't know why he had to be so stubborn. It didn't really mesh well with her plans. She wanted to get it on _right now_.

Letting her question linger, Puck asked, "You want a beer? Some weed?" He got up, heading for the kitchen. As far as he was concerned, the conversation was over. He didn't care if she stayed, but there wasn't going to be any sex. He got out a beer, and then went back to the couch, pulling out his bong so he could fill it with weed. He was planning on getting totally bombed. He needed the release. "Look 'Tana, I know sex is how you deal with things, that's cool. I just can't do it that way." He said. "At least not right now." He didn't know why she couldn't just chill out right now. He popped the top off his beer and took a long sip. Then he got out his weed so he could fill the bong. He didn't really care what Santana did or said right now. He just wanted her to chill.

She rolled her eyes and went to grab a beer. He would pay for this. She never wanted him to get away with things. She sat back down on the couch with him. Santana really couldn't believe it. Who turned down sex with _her_? No one ever turned down sex with her. Not even Finnocence, and he'd been with Rachel or in love or whatever. She was never able to keep that straight, but really, who could? Maybe Sherlock Holmes, but he was the greatest detective in the world. That was completely different. She watched as he turned on the television and searched for something to watch. Santana wasn't sure how to say what she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that she cared about him without doing it and sounding sappy. Santana hated sounding sappy. She didn't want to be that way. "Puck, I'm sorry if I made you feel like you aren't important to me. You know you are." She told him. "I…. I don't know how to do any of this and you know that."

Puck looked at her. She was just trying so hard. He just didn't know how to say it. He didn't want to disappoint her. She took things very hard and very seriously. It was hard to talk to her about anything. She was always getting angry about things. It was the worst. You had to tread lightly. Otherwise, you'd get your head bitten off. "I do know that. And I usually like that about you. You know that I don't really do this serious crap either." Puck sipped his beer. "I know what you're trying to do, Lopez. It's not going to work. I told you no." He finished rolling the joint and reached for his lighter. He did feel sorry for her. Puck didn't like saying no anymore than she liked hearing it. Puck didn't like anything right now.

That was all when school started and in the few weeks afterward. Then it was Valentine's Day. They'd spent the last few months off and on, and Puck was now trying to go out with Zizes. That was very unacceptable. Santana couldn't properly use him for a beard if he was doing that shit. She was sitting in the choir room, watching him play his guitar, and wondering what the hell he saw in that behemoth. She was ugly, fat, and mean. Santana was much better suited for him, and she wasn't going to let her beard get away. She folded her arms, her face fixed with a glare. He just wouldn't get with the program. She got up when the bell rang, giving both of them her best HBIC glare. Then she pointed at both of them, letting them know they were both on her list. She was going to give them both a very rude awakening. Santana went out to her locker. Boy were they going to have a talk.

The next day at school, Santana arrived with a necklace and a receipt. "So, you can reimburse me." She told him, offering it up, showing him the necklace. She arched her eyebrow, as if daring him to say a thing. He opened his locker, looking at her, eyebrow raised. Santana folded her arms defiantly. "You are not going to keep going after Zizes, Puckerman." She informed him. Santana was not going to lose this time. She didn't like losing. It conveyed weakness. She kept her eyes on him. Best not to look away. He was looking back at her with a 'you're crazy' look. She wondered why he wasn't saying anything. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" She asked, intending not to let this go.

Puck turned to lean against his locker. She had some nerve. "Are you serious?" He asked, crumpling the receipt and tossing it to the floor. Puck was _not_ going to let her stop him from doing what he wanted. "Look, Lopez, the times we have are always great, but I'm not going to let you guilt me into staying your fuck buddy." Puck was very tired of Santana's just using him. Usually he didn't want a serious relationship, or mind being used. Puck knew Zizes was just a rebound. He had feelings for Quinn and always would. Puck was tired of seeing her with that Evans kid. Although it seemed like Hudson was after her too. Puck was tired of that happening. He was supposed to be with Rachel. Puck didn't know if he could handle all of this.

"You have _gots_ to be kidding." Santana told him, arching her eyebrow. "No one dumps a Lopez." She informed him. This was not going to work for her. She could not handle any of this. Brittany was with that stupid cripple kid, and Santana didn't have a date for Valentine's Day. She was going to be the laughingstock of the whole school. She couldn't go without a date. Puckerman had to shape up. He wasn't completely useless. She did actually care a lot about him. It wasn't fair that he was suddenly getting a mind of his own. It only helped when he went along with what she had in mind. "Not to mention, you _know_ you're still into Fabray. Zizes is _so_ beneath you. Not to mention she's a _wrestler_. So you just end that ridiculous nonsense and I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers who might mistake her for a great white whale." That was something that made him actually crack a smile.

"You have a death wish, Lopez." Puck said, his tone belying laughter. He thought she had a lot of nerve. He had actually always liked that about her. It was a hard time for her right now, and he knew that. She was having to put up with Brittany going everywhere with Artie. He knew that was hard for her. She was still in love with her and she hated Artie. Puck didn't have any qualms or problems with Artie. There was no reason for him to hate him. Puck rolled his eyes. "I know you're going through a lot. Your best friend is dating a nerd, everyone else is all paired up….but I don't do well with threats and you know it." He told her. She looked so lost behind her eyes. He wished things were different. It was very complicated and that was the worst. This was high school, it was supposed to be the best times of their lives. It wasn't seeming to be working out that way.

She rolled her eyes. "I am not threatening you, Puckerman." She told him. She really was, but it would be best if he didn't think she was. She knew how to handle boys. They were ruled by their cocks. It was that simple. She thought that it was the best way to handle things. Santana would not under any circumstances lose Puck as her beard. She just wished she could tell Brittany how she felt. She just didn't have the courage. It was eating her alive inside, though. And Artie? Really? That cripple? Santana didn't like him. She didn't know how to get Brittany away from him. She still didn't know how he had gotten a girl like Brittany. Artie didn't deserve a girl like her. He was just a nerd. He even wore saddle shoes. "I….. I can't… Brittany's with that loser…" She said, her voice shaking a little. It was dangerously close to making her cry. This was the worst thing to ever happen. Not to mention, she never let this much of herself out. She only felt safe showing this part of herself with Puck and Brittany. This was the only way she did things. For some reason, something about Puck made her feel safe enough to open up. It was very strange.

When she all of a sudden started getting weepy, Puck's whole demeanor changed. She _never_ got like this. Only rarely. Santana was all about hiding her pain and sleeping around. She must be _really_ upset. Puck closed his locker, and pulled her into an empty classroom. "Lopez…..you tell me what's wrong." He said, moving her black hair out of her eyes. They may fight a lot, but Puck really did care about her. She was a good person underneath all of it. She was amazing. She was just going through things that Puck would never understand because he wasn't gay. He would never really get the struggle that she was going through. He knew it had to be a long and painful process. He would never know what that was like. He looked at her. She looked like she was in very intense pain. Puck wished he could wave his hand and take it all away.

That was almost what made her keep it all to herself. Puck was being way too nice right now and it was freaking her out. She didn't know if she should let him in. She lifted her eyes to his. "I…. I can't do this, Puck. I can't see her be with him. I can't come out. I don't know what to do. I need you. I need you to be my boyfriend so I can do this. I know you're like, chubby chasing or whatever, but I really need you." Her voice cracked on that one. She needed him to see how important it was. She rubbed her eyes. She grabbed one of his hands and held onto it. She squeezed it tightly. "Please, Noah."

The please and the use of his first name really got him. Puck knew she had to really mean what she was saying. Puck didn't know what the best course was. He didn't want her to feel desperate. She seemed to be right now. Puck had never seen her so anxious. He sighed. Puck didn't know what to do. He wasn't sure if he could do the beard thing. It meant he had to behave. He wasn't sure he was willing. He did love her. Very much. He didn't want to hurt her. Puck stroked her cheek. "San….you know I care about you. I know that you must really want this. You're being very serious. I just….you know that I don't do the whole relationship thing. I don't…. I don't know how to do it. You know I don't." He hated this. He didn't know what to do. Puck knew she was in a tight spot. Her and George Clooney.

Santana's heart was pounding hard. She didn't know what to do. Puck _had_ to agree. She couldn't trust anyone else. He was the only one. "Please, Puck. I really can't trust anyone else. You know I'll sleep with you whenever you want. What is wrong with that? I know people won't want to buy it was real but I need it. I can't come out. I can't. It will ruin me. You saw what happened to Kurt at this school. I don't want that to happen to me." She said. "Please. I can't do this without you." She really couldn't. Santana would beg if she had to. She didn't _want_ to, it showed weakness. But she would. Santana had to get her way right now. "Please. You know I never ask for anything."

That was most certainly true. He was so close to giving in. Puck wiped a tear off her cheek. "Okay." He finally said, nodding. Puck couldn't let her suffer. He thought they should have rules. "We should have rules. Do this right." He told her. He didn't want to come into problems later on. Puck didn't want to butt heads. He looked at her. "Have any suggestions?" He asked. He thought she should get a chance to voice her opinions about rules. It was only fair. Puck usually wasn't that into being fair, but this was Santana. She ought to get her way too. He also wondered what her objections or comments would be. It was definitely going to be interesting. They would get it all worked out.

"I don't care. Whatever you want is fine." Santana said, nodding. "I just am glad you agreed to do this." He would just never know exactly how much.

_**Author's note: Hope ya'll liked! I think Pucktana is so adorable. XD.**_


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